these months

To feel LIFE again volcanically through  my core.
What was I becoming?
someone foreign, someone not me at all...
In a boxed environment, every day blending the same...
Robotic and knowing just what to expect.
No surprises. little laughter. barely a hint of understanding.
Life IS EXPLORATION and that flows with my blood and without it I'm 20%.
...My feeling for the unknown is something I've yet to find justifiable words. 

I wanted to unite our separate, quite opposing worlds...
but in order to have a single moment of peace...at least one agreeance is needed.

I didn't intend to but perhaps by my lack of thrill and your apathy slash lack of passion, I transformed into a selfish roller coaster... and for those episodes I am truly sorry.

On this day my focus is from within... twisting, turning through the dimensions of my warped and momentarily true happiness. So much could be said of the situation at hand but I'm choosing to ignore those emotions for the moment.

when two worlds collide [i am exhausted]

Life is truly where you take it and where you focus your energies,
but some just need to get laid.

Isn't it interesting how "everyone" feels that they are alone and different and that no one understands them.

out of it

spinnin around in this desk chair wishing it would pick up
enough momentum and spiral upwards outta here.

dug beneath the dirt and mud and found light.

There is this situation that I am completely negatively amazed by.

Thinking of the mountains and watching the sunset. 

FULL MOON

It just does something to me.
No matter how cold, I stay out under.

Fix one thing and break another.

I've been feeling uncomfortable, overwhelmed, and confused in everyday environments so I'm taking a break, retreating.

awaking from a futuristic-like dream - my reaction

I long for life as in the beginning
I tried to love you
I died inside
No matter how I showed the meaning from inside
I cried under my pillow each night beside you
Long ago we had smiles with miles apart
Now I'm trying to be good enough
on the edge, on the brink from it all...
Stuck up a separate zone...
alone.

things are falling around me
there are dark shadows and flashes of light yet I feel fearless
It's only a force teaching me a lesson
a lesson I insist I already know
a path of words before me
as if coming from a dream
although its a reality,
the only reality happening before me
everything unfamiliar
codes, names, all around me..
how do I unscramble them

One of the best things after it rains is looking into a rain puddle.

Besides another human being
Besides material possessions and money
Putting all things aside and there is just yourself.......

momentarily this, momentarily that

an assortment of moments through time equaling nothing.

I awoke startled to the sound of the phone ringing
I answered dazed and confused and tried to hold a normal conversation
drifted off, half back asleep.
I awoke again to the sound of church bells and a dog's hoarse bark repeating and repeating.
I walked outside and felt the warm air hit my skin.
Its yellow outside, very yellow
..and still, very still; frozen-like.
The warm air on my skin,
and silence except for sound of church bells...
and the dog's bark.
Barely a breeze..
yellow outside,
very yellow.

Caught in an undertow

but finally for a moment I can think,
nourish my body... and maybe even sleep.

no moon no stars in sight...just alone.

watching

...the dead leaves fall.

Spaceship I'll take my chances take me away.

Find me at sea.

repellent

& yet another breath full of lies ricocheting off my ears.

Getting online when you've been drinking is just as bad as having access to a phone when you've been drinking.

stuck in this dream where you need to run but can only do so in slow motion

full moon.

I've found I'm a lot more expressive and creative around 3/4 in the morning.

estranged

The windows are foggy, there are weird noises and its dark.
Shadows which quite possibly could be my own.
Are dark forces present?
Is it them I see in the far corners of my vision... a hand.
Sometimes I feel like I've been gone and this is all
a dream while waiting in between.
Often I feel I've drifted or flipped from the hammock into an
alternate universe where all things are the same yet blurred...
I need some rest.

to those who hum

that figure you thought you saw in the corner of your eye.
that shadow you thought you'd imagined following you around that corner.
that stare you felt in the dark,
that presence you sensed at greenfield park.
that which made you suspect if something was behind that cypress tree.. was me